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Penn State, The Catholic Church, and Institutional Corruption—The One Thing That Is Missing

There’s not much I can add to the tragedy at Penn State that hasn’t, or won’t be dissected by people who are a lot smarter then me. Nevertheless, after reading over the 20+-page grand jury report (you can down it on the link below-note this is not for the faint of heart) it’s clear that Joe Paterno may not have been the one who pulled the gun during the bank heist, but he was driving the getaway car.

Like the Catholic Church scandal, the first instinct at Penn State, was to protect it’s own, regardless of victim(s). See, that’s how the good old boys club works.  Power, money, and indulgences of arrogance come first.  It’s how the Mob works-don’t rat out the next guy, and like priesthood and coaches at Penn State, you become a “made-man”.  Some financial institutions aren’t far beyond.  As long as Madoff was making wall-street money, everyone looked the other way.

Does it surprise me that students at Penn State and followers of the Catholic Church came to the defend of it’s respective institution?  Not really. What does the fish know about the water it swims in. John Gotti was a God in Ozone Park Queens until the day he passed. Why not? He gave the people fireworks every year for the 4^th of July and “helped” the poor. The riot at Penn State over Paterno’s firing is the result of the inmates running the asylum, (albeit temporarily)—in other words, they are protesting to keep there 4^th of July fireworks. Other factors are at play here but way beyond the scope of this blog.  The focus here is men improving their lives and how it impacts “getting the girl” and “keeping the girl”. So let’s bring this all together.

So what the one thing that is missing in all of these tragic stories?

WOMEN.

Wrap your head around that one.

What would be the impact if these institutions (Football, The Catholic church, Financial Institution) incorporated more women?  What would be the likelihood of preventing or minimizing these tragedies?

The house of cards came tumbling down for Madoff, and Paterno but not for the Catholic Church—but why? Simple. The Catholic Church conducted it’s own investigation. What did they discover? It was societies fault. O, and most of the victims where over 14 years of age so it really not as bad as reported (please click link below to learn more). Again, arrogance, power and money come first.  The lesson here is that we cannot let Penn State conduct an internal investigation and take it as face value. Government must step in.

Since 9/11, we’ve asked our citizens that if they “see something, say something”. If Penn State has taught us one thing, moving forward, let’s remember that terrorist don’t always wear head Igaal or Kaftan robs (traditional Arab clothing), something they wear Khaki pants, oversized 70’s eye glasses with college paraphernalia and stand on football side lines.

 

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

 

Sources:

Result of Catholic Church Sex abuse report. http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/19/us-catholic-church-sexual-abuse-report

Penn State Grand Jury Report

http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/feature?section=news&id=8421115

 

It's MOvember once again!

For the past couple of years I’ve participated in the Movember movement.  In a nutshell, men let their mustaches grow to prompt prostate and testicular cancer. Other than skin cancer, prostate cancer is the most common cancer in American men. The following American Cancer Society estimates for prostate cancer in the United States are for 2011:

-  About 240,890 new cases of prostate cancer will be diagnosed

-  About 33,720 men will die of prostate cancer

-  About 1 man in 6 will be diagnosed with prostate cancer during his lifetime.

- More than 2 million men in the United States who have been diagnosed with prostate cancer at some point are still alive today.

- Prostate cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death in American men, behind only lung cancer. About 1 man in 36 will die of prostate cancer.

The following are the signs most often associated with prostate cancer.  But keep in mind that they do not always occur, and are not necessarily indicators of cancer, but could indicate another condition (always check with your primary physician and get screened every year after the age of 40).

1. Blood appearing in the urine stream.
2. Smaller or weaker urine stream.
3. The urge to urinate frequently, but producing only small amounts.
4. Painful urination.
5. Inability to fully empty the bladder.
6. The uncontrolled dribbling of urine.
7. Difficulty beginning to urinate.
8. Pain with ejaculation.

Let those Mo’s grow fellas! For more information on Movember, go to http://us.movember.com/

And for information on Prostate cancer please check out http://www.cancer.org/Cancer/ProstateCancer/index

Who knows-maybe next year you will find yourself competing in Vegas for the best mustache in the world…

http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/

 

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

Being Dumped and Honoring My Namesake…

Well it happened. It seems that no matter how much I try to make it through this manic maze we call a relationship, I’ve managed to get dumped. It wasn’t because of lack of trying, anyone that has followed my blog would testify to the “bag of tricks” I’ve tried…I preach and focus on “Keeping The Girl” just as much as “Getting The Girl”.

I got the old garden variety, but with modern twist, version of “it’s not you, it’s me”.

 “I think you’re a really wonderful man…we didn’t break up because of anything that you did at all. It was my lack of effort”.  That was her way of being nice and not burying the knife deeper, which was certainly appreciated at the moment.

After the initial fog had cleared, I craved a real reason. Something that I can learn from, anything—even the most-malicious answer would provide something to work off of, something to grow from; a tiny piece of cheese that I can apply in the next manic maze. At last, I’m left with my imagination to fill the void…

The easy thing would be to go “opposite”. Forgo the  “wonderful man” approach.  At the surface, most women, in today’s world, don’t want that type of man. Everyone knows someone (and if not several couples) in which- she, defines a loving relationships as one where he doesn’t cheat (this month), or raised his hand/voice. A relationship where the notion of “receiving flowers” is a bi-annual event, supporting career changes and family challenges are non-existent. And she stays…. no, not just stays, but in a bizzaro type of world, loves her man. Perhaps Nucky Thompson (ala: Broadwalk Empire) had it right "We all have to decide for ourselves how much sin we can live with”.

Nevertheless, just seems like too much sin, even for my agnostic self.

Instead, I’ll honor my namesake…

Unlike the rest of the males in my family (and like most Dominican families) I was given a very traditional American name. My father had an obsession with a TV show in the 70’s (I’m dating myself indeed-pun intended) called the Six Million Dollar Man. The basic premise of the show is that an astronaut was “re-built” with mechanical limbs, eyes and arms after a major accident.

Breaks up “feel” that way sometimes. 

And this will be the approach I will take.  No remorse, no anger, no vengeful plots—just singular focus…rebuilding myself, a better, more balanced Steve Austin.

Finally, to those that read my blog-- for you this might be educational, motivational, comical or instructional but for me, this blog has always been therapeutic. For reading, and listening…I thank you.

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

Tis The Season…

Where has the year gone? Amazing, it’s that time of year where we start to think about something unique to provide our love one during the holiday’s. In a previous post, we mentioned a company called www.vaporsky.com and it’s Stellar Décor Art.  The artwork is a canvas that provides an illustration of how the stars looked at the exact moment something special happens in your life (Think Birthday, Anniversary etc.) The gang over at www.vaporsky.com has recently come out with Resonant Décor, an elegant display of the sounds around you. 

Is she an animal lover? Record her dog barking or cat meowing and make it art. Does she love her Starbucks? Record an espresso machine churning. Now outside of hearing how much you love her, you can show her, literally.

 

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Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

Why computer voices are mostly female By Brandon Griggs, CNN

To most owners of the new iPhone, the voice-activated feature called Siri is more than a virtual "assistant" who can help schedule appointments, find a good nearby pizza or tell you if it's going to rain.

She's also a she.

Separation of Church and State, Occupy Wall Street and Relationships

Compelling sign and question is it not? Who would Jesus foreclose on?

Some would argue that Jesus has no place in the current protest down at Wall Street; this was a man-made problem. Speaking to some of the protestors, they feel the exact opposite-that the divine guiding sprit of Jesus, Allah, Buddha and the likes is exactly what is needed and missing from Wall Street. I suppose the idea of “Separation of Church and State” was and is just that, an idea. In the tangible world, there could never be true separation.  We are always judged, morally, on how we spend our money. The irony of course is that we are judged on someone else’s moral compass. Our personal relationships are not that much different. Don’t think so, see how your wife or girlfriend would feel if you spend YOUR hard earned paycheck on the local stripper. Weather right or wrong, accountability, fairness and basic morality for the work put into your job or relationship is what the protestors and your significant others expects…

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Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

The Perfect Relationship…

We all have our own definition, an image of what we would define as the perfect relationship. I wouldn’t be able to tell you what your partner envisions, but I am sure that her vision of the perfect relationship is not far from this…click here.

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Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

Earthquakes and Eyebrow Threading

I had an interesting conversation this morning about men and eyebrow threading. For those that don’t know about threading, in a nutshell, it’s a process in which your eyebrows are shaped up with a twisted cotton thread (ouch). It seems that eyebrow threading, for men, is catching on and it got me thinking about something…

A few years back, while conducting business in Belize, I was awake to a 7.0+ earthquake (the picture you see is in Belize the night before the earthquake). As with most earthquakes, our first instinct is often not safety, but confirmation. We required validation even in the face of such a violate- natural disaster. It’s why we all clap when one person claps upon a safe landing, it why we stand and give an ovation at the end of a good Broadway show—social creditability and social proof matters to us. 

The current men eyebrow threading “movement” is the same…

 We are not conditioned; unlike say a teenage girl, to pay attention, in such detail, to eyebrow grooming. Those men that do are doing it by choice, not conditioning. Eyebrow threading is rarely part of a boy’s upbringing (note there’s a clear distinction between hygiene grooming and threading the eyes). Those that do are trying to acquire some sort of social proof. The social proof can come in the form of fitting into a group, or trying to impress a women who tends to like men who are more on the metrosexual side, perhaps they are trying to smooth out there hardcore persona (in which case they are still trying to acquire a type of social proof).  Acceptance in the form of social proof is what they are seeking.

If we accept this as truth, how much difference is there, say, to a woman who gets breast implants, or a tummy tuck? And when you’re finishing contemplating that, think about how much breast implants use to be taboo and are pretty mainstream in today’s world. And with the on-going emasculation of men (more on this in another post), I suppose it won’t be too long before men threading there eyebrows will become the norm…Get your clippers ready.

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

Starbucks and women with “baggage”…

During a recent trip to Seattle I took the obligatory tour of Pikes Place Market to catch a King Salmon (See pic) and brisk by the original Starbucks.  From the outside, it doesn’t look like your garden variety Starbucks. Turns out that this “original” Starbucks never sold coffee when it first opened. Instead, one of the founders, Jerry Baldwin was focused on selling coffee beans, teas and herbs. It wasn’t until former Director of Marketing and current CEO Howard Schultz was on a buying trip to Milan, Italy, for Starbucks, that Schultz noted that coffee bars existed on practically every street. He learned that they not only served excellent espresso, they also served as meeting places or public squares; they were a big part of Italy's societal glue, and there were 200,000 of them in the country.  On his return, he tried to persuade Jerry Baldwin to offer traditional espresso beverages in addition to the whole bean coffee, leaf teas and spices they had long offered. After a successful pilot of the cafe concept, Jerry refused to roll it out company-wide, saying they didn't want to get into the restaurant business. Frustrated, Schultz started his own coffee shop in 1985, named 'Il Giornale' after the Milanese newspaper. Two years later, the original Starbucks management (Jerry included) decided to focus on Peet's Coffee & Tea and sold its Starbucks retail unit to Schultz.

But what if Jerry had never created the first “flawed” (I say that loosely) coffee bean shop? What if they had not hired Howard? Without these mistakes, and the associated issues and baggage that came along with the coffee bean shop, you would not be enjoying those double Latte Frappuccino today. Success rarely travels in a straight line.

I think our personal relationships are the same.

When we start dating, we don’t just date the person, but all of there past mistakes and current flaws. The version of her today, and all her associated baggage, is a kluge of sorts-a clumping of her past relationships. The goal then, like Howard, is too remain open enough to find your own inspiration; inspiration that can take a somewhat flawed baggage filled past, to produce a positive loving future.  

 

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

Oral Sex and Throat Cancer

Awareness and early detection is key—this quote by Maura Gillison, an oncologist at Ohio State University, sums up the potential problem in one sentence: “The burden of cancer caused by HPV is going to shift from women to men in this decade.” Learn more.

Share The Water...

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

Filling The Vacuum.

A few years back Dr. Jan Souman of the Max Planck institute was the first to present data that people really walk in circles in the absence of a guiding source like a North Star, Sun or Moon.  That’s to say; if I where to drop you in the middle of the jungle, regardless of which direction you walked, more then likely you will end up right where you started without some initial guide point. Our instincts, tendencies and predispositions aren’t enough. It’s human nature, then, to require guidance-a map of sort to put us back on course.

Our relationships are the same…

Despites the advances in gender equality-you are expected to lead. Every relationship new and old alike, have highs and lows. Each dip represents an opportunity for you to fill the vacuum.  In it simplest form, this means, don’t wait to make dinner reservation, plan that weekend gateway, send her a “thinking of you” text and send those flowers. Do so before your relationship ends up in circles. Hurry, she waiting…

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

 

Reference: http://www.mpg.de/596269/pressRelease200908171

If She’s Not Lying To You, Something Is Wrong... By Steve Amarante

In this instant gratification- digital world, it’s a bit ironic that the true time and tested mechanism for building trust is good old face-to-face conversation. Steady, accumulated conversation exposes our identity. Conversation however, never guarantees authenticity.  What’s utter from his or her lips can be manipulated, molded to fit your expectations of them.  In fact, lying is the norm.

It’s for this reason I advocate and preach so much about body language. Take a few minutes and check out this video from Pamela Meyer, author of Liespotting, and as you watch, remember this-trust can’t be purchased and it certainly can’t be downloaded; not even in this “instant” culture-well, not yet that is.

 

Recommended reading:

http://liespotting.com/ by Pamela Meyers

http://www.lyintamer.com/ Janine Driver’s -You say more than you think

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante www.luvjungle.com

"But what I was really happy with was____"

It’s amazing how one simple sentence can transform a relationship or date, if you’re willing to incorporate it. Think about it:

“I went to a Best Buy and purchased a new phone, but what I was really happy with was the customer service”

“The wedding we went to yesterday was amazing but what I was really happy with where the table settings”

Her: “We had such a great time at dinner, getting to know each other and joking around but what I was really happy with was____.

By rule, how you decide to fill in that last blank is what will take a normal date and make it memorable, extraordinary --same with your relationship. Go fill the blank…

 

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

Love Is A Verb…

…Conveying an action. Better, then, to focus on what she does vs. what she says.  Even more illuminating is what she DOESN’T do (lack of action). Has she recently stop calling? Text messages not flying back and forth like before? Does she avoid communicating via social media outlets?  Are you an afterthought with her future plans and the concept of “we” is more “I” now?  When life is stacking the deck of cards against you does she engage more or isn’t as supportive as you would expect in a loving relationship?

Of course, one should always ask oneself why the change—that’s to say why the lack of action on her part (and how, perhaps, you are the cause of this) but in the scope of things- statements are simple. Talk is cheap.  Action however? Action is king…this should be your new measuring stick.  

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

Competing Against Oneself by Steve Amarante

Race car drivers appreciate the value of the rear view mirror—it’s always good to see what competition is coming up the rear side. Competition always tend to make us focus a little better, for some, it’s used as a motivation instrument, a measuring stick of sorts. Here’s the thing thou, in the pursuit of women, you shouldn’t count on the “other dude” to bring out the best in you. At a minimum, this means that you’ve relinquished control to the other guy; you’re dependent on the rival to help set the standard. Women can “sense” this.  Better to burn a new path, set the standard, and be your own man. Competing against oneself requires much less effort, effort that you can use to generate true attraction…

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

Steven Paul Jobs: The Relationship Innovator by Steve Amarante

It would be difficult to properly eulogize Steve Jobs and his accomplishments, too much to say, and frankly others would do a much better job of socializing it then I ever could. Nevertheless, Jobs tenacious work ethics provides some valuable relationship characteristic’s we can all learn from:

 1. Taking the boring and making it extraordinary.

Apple, Inc wasn’t the first to create the personal computer, mobile music player or tablet for that matter—they where the first too covert these boring, mundane and often hard to use devices to the masses. How? By going above and beyond--aiming for the extraordinary. Trying mixing things up in your relationship and keep her guessing.  You don’t have to be extraordinary to seek it.

2. Persistence. 

The first Apple desktop may have been well received by geeks and techies alike—not so by enterprises/businesses and the masses.  Jobs kept innovating, marketing…persevering. Some relationships are the same—you have to work past some initial resistant, challenges and outside naysayer. If the prize is worth it—keep at it.

3. Leaving a void.  

What if you where no longer around? How quickly would she be able to replace you? How much would she truly miss you? Jobs’ passing has left an irreplaceable void at Apple and the world. You don’t have to have such an impact on the world stage, but if not being around for some reason doesn’t create a void in her life—you’re simple not doing enough!

 

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com