LuvJungle.com

Separation of Church and State, Occupy Wall Street and Relationships

Compelling sign and question is it not? Who would Jesus foreclose on?

Some would argue that Jesus has no place in the current protest down at Wall Street; this was a man-made problem. Speaking to some of the protestors, they feel the exact opposite-that the divine guiding sprit of Jesus, Allah, Buddha and the likes is exactly what is needed and missing from Wall Street. I suppose the idea of “Separation of Church and State” was and is just that, an idea. In the tangible world, there could never be true separation.  We are always judged, morally, on how we spend our money. The irony of course is that we are judged on someone else’s moral compass. Our personal relationships are not that much different. Don’t think so, see how your wife or girlfriend would feel if you spend YOUR hard earned paycheck on the local stripper. Weather right or wrong, accountability, fairness and basic morality for the work put into your job or relationship is what the protestors and your significant others expects…

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

The Perfect Relationship…

We all have our own definition, an image of what we would define as the perfect relationship. I wouldn’t be able to tell you what your partner envisions, but I am sure that her vision of the perfect relationship is not far from this…click here.

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

Starbucks and women with “baggage”…

During a recent trip to Seattle I took the obligatory tour of Pikes Place Market to catch a King Salmon (See pic) and brisk by the original Starbucks.  From the outside, it doesn’t look like your garden variety Starbucks. Turns out that this “original” Starbucks never sold coffee when it first opened. Instead, one of the founders, Jerry Baldwin was focused on selling coffee beans, teas and herbs. It wasn’t until former Director of Marketing and current CEO Howard Schultz was on a buying trip to Milan, Italy, for Starbucks, that Schultz noted that coffee bars existed on practically every street. He learned that they not only served excellent espresso, they also served as meeting places or public squares; they were a big part of Italy's societal glue, and there were 200,000 of them in the country.  On his return, he tried to persuade Jerry Baldwin to offer traditional espresso beverages in addition to the whole bean coffee, leaf teas and spices they had long offered. After a successful pilot of the cafe concept, Jerry refused to roll it out company-wide, saying they didn't want to get into the restaurant business. Frustrated, Schultz started his own coffee shop in 1985, named 'Il Giornale' after the Milanese newspaper. Two years later, the original Starbucks management (Jerry included) decided to focus on Peet's Coffee & Tea and sold its Starbucks retail unit to Schultz.

But what if Jerry had never created the first “flawed” (I say that loosely) coffee bean shop? What if they had not hired Howard? Without these mistakes, and the associated issues and baggage that came along with the coffee bean shop, you would not be enjoying those double Latte Frappuccino today. Success rarely travels in a straight line.

I think our personal relationships are the same.

When we start dating, we don’t just date the person, but all of there past mistakes and current flaws. The version of her today, and all her associated baggage, is a kluge of sorts-a clumping of her past relationships. The goal then, like Howard, is too remain open enough to find your own inspiration; inspiration that can take a somewhat flawed baggage filled past, to produce a positive loving future.  

 

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

Filling The Vacuum.

A few years back Dr. Jan Souman of the Max Planck institute was the first to present data that people really walk in circles in the absence of a guiding source like a North Star, Sun or Moon.  That’s to say; if I where to drop you in the middle of the jungle, regardless of which direction you walked, more then likely you will end up right where you started without some initial guide point. Our instincts, tendencies and predispositions aren’t enough. It’s human nature, then, to require guidance-a map of sort to put us back on course.

Our relationships are the same…

Despites the advances in gender equality-you are expected to lead. Every relationship new and old alike, have highs and lows. Each dip represents an opportunity for you to fill the vacuum.  In it simplest form, this means, don’t wait to make dinner reservation, plan that weekend gateway, send her a “thinking of you” text and send those flowers. Do so before your relationship ends up in circles. Hurry, she waiting…

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

 

Reference: http://www.mpg.de/596269/pressRelease200908171

If She’s Not Lying To You, Something Is Wrong... By Steve Amarante

In this instant gratification- digital world, it’s a bit ironic that the true time and tested mechanism for building trust is good old face-to-face conversation. Steady, accumulated conversation exposes our identity. Conversation however, never guarantees authenticity.  What’s utter from his or her lips can be manipulated, molded to fit your expectations of them.  In fact, lying is the norm.

It’s for this reason I advocate and preach so much about body language. Take a few minutes and check out this video from Pamela Meyer, author of Liespotting, and as you watch, remember this-trust can’t be purchased and it certainly can’t be downloaded; not even in this “instant” culture-well, not yet that is.

 

Recommended reading:

http://liespotting.com/ by Pamela Meyers

http://www.lyintamer.com/ Janine Driver’s -You say more than you think

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Steve Amarante www.luvjungle.com

"But what I was really happy with was____"

It’s amazing how one simple sentence can transform a relationship or date, if you’re willing to incorporate it. Think about it:

“I went to a Best Buy and purchased a new phone, but what I was really happy with was the customer service”

“The wedding we went to yesterday was amazing but what I was really happy with where the table settings”

Her: “We had such a great time at dinner, getting to know each other and joking around but what I was really happy with was____.

By rule, how you decide to fill in that last blank is what will take a normal date and make it memorable, extraordinary --same with your relationship. Go fill the blank…

 

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

Love Is A Verb…

…Conveying an action. Better, then, to focus on what she does vs. what she says.  Even more illuminating is what she DOESN’T do (lack of action). Has she recently stop calling? Text messages not flying back and forth like before? Does she avoid communicating via social media outlets?  Are you an afterthought with her future plans and the concept of “we” is more “I” now?  When life is stacking the deck of cards against you does she engage more or isn’t as supportive as you would expect in a loving relationship?

Of course, one should always ask oneself why the change—that’s to say why the lack of action on her part (and how, perhaps, you are the cause of this) but in the scope of things- statements are simple. Talk is cheap.  Action however? Action is king…this should be your new measuring stick.  

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

Competing Against Oneself by Steve Amarante

Race car drivers appreciate the value of the rear view mirror—it’s always good to see what competition is coming up the rear side. Competition always tend to make us focus a little better, for some, it’s used as a motivation instrument, a measuring stick of sorts. Here’s the thing thou, in the pursuit of women, you shouldn’t count on the “other dude” to bring out the best in you. At a minimum, this means that you’ve relinquished control to the other guy; you’re dependent on the rival to help set the standard. Women can “sense” this.  Better to burn a new path, set the standard, and be your own man. Competing against oneself requires much less effort, effort that you can use to generate true attraction…

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

Steven Paul Jobs: The Relationship Innovator by Steve Amarante

It would be difficult to properly eulogize Steve Jobs and his accomplishments, too much to say, and frankly others would do a much better job of socializing it then I ever could. Nevertheless, Jobs tenacious work ethics provides some valuable relationship characteristic’s we can all learn from:

 1. Taking the boring and making it extraordinary.

Apple, Inc wasn’t the first to create the personal computer, mobile music player or tablet for that matter—they where the first too covert these boring, mundane and often hard to use devices to the masses. How? By going above and beyond--aiming for the extraordinary. Trying mixing things up in your relationship and keep her guessing.  You don’t have to be extraordinary to seek it.

2. Persistence. 

The first Apple desktop may have been well received by geeks and techies alike—not so by enterprises/businesses and the masses.  Jobs kept innovating, marketing…persevering. Some relationships are the same—you have to work past some initial resistant, challenges and outside naysayer. If the prize is worth it—keep at it.

3. Leaving a void.  

What if you where no longer around? How quickly would she be able to replace you? How much would she truly miss you? Jobs’ passing has left an irreplaceable void at Apple and the world. You don’t have to have such an impact on the world stage, but if not being around for some reason doesn’t create a void in her life—you’re simple not doing enough!

 

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com

How Money Can Improve Your Relationship by Steve Amarante

It’s not what you think—of course having deep pockets can “enrich” any relationship (personal or not).  What’s often overlooked is the duality of money. It's impossible to have a coin with only one side. You can't have heads without tails. In fact, the very essences of either side cannot exist without the presences of the other.

The weather, planets, currency, our taste buds and indeed relationships exhibit duality. Along those lines then, it stands to reason that one can’t have success unless you're prepared to have failure.

Which is why men that fear being in any type of relationship, or, for that matter, fear rejection when approaching a woman perplex me.  When failure is not an option, then by definition, neither is dating/attraction or success. The law of duality dictates it as such.  Lesson: Never fear the coin flip, better instead to focus on the potential positive outcome.

Share The Water…

Steve Amarante

www.luvjungle.com